The Wife and I had a great time! We went down to visit some old friends from her college days while the childerbeasts stayed at their Memaw's and Pawpaw's (my folks). Beautiful city, Galveston, and the Gulf.... I fell in love with the sea!
We all went swimming our first day there, and these are some of things I learned:
1. Ya know that spray-on sun screen that's advertised as spraying on evenly so you don't have to shmear it on? BULLSHIT! I looked like a freakin' leper about the torso and limbs! Happily, I did shmear it on the top of my head so I didn't look like a leperous cueball anyway. I ended up being burned to a crisp anyway so I may as well have saved money on the crap.
2. While floating in the ocean, contemplating the wonders of God's creation, I came to the realization that, while Nature is beautiful in Her complexity and wondrous in Her simplicity, Mother Nature is a right cunt.
I was floating in the sea, meditating and enjoying just... Being... feeling at one with the tide.... and then Mother Nature - that old bint - slapped me with a rogue wave that had me sputtering and swearing to all hell! I swallowed so much sea water, I still don't need to put salt on my food!
3. Another thing about th'ocean: Things feed in the 'weed.
Something bit The Wife on the toe. Probably a blue crab. It bled.
(The toe, not the crab)
There's a little scar. She's still talking about it. She'll show you the scar if you want to see it. She'll show you the scar if you don't want to see it........
*Ouch!* She only beats me 'cuz she loves me....
4. Went to a little hole-in-the-wall karoake bar with the girls.
Oh wait, did I mention that I was the only male in the group? No? Well, I was.
So there I wuz..... In a karoake bar with The Wife and 3 of our (female) friends and about 20 other patrons. While sober, I flipped through the book, looking for a song I could sing while less than sober, and I saw it......
Monty Python's, "Sit On My Face"!
Then I proceded on to my goal of being "less than sober". After my beer-and-a-shot, and some more beer, and a few somethings called a "Mind Fucker"(?) -- booze and raspberry, that's all I know -- I take my slip of paper to the DJ.
His name? "English" John. (and yes, he is).
He looked at the slip, looked at me, looked back at the slip and said, "YES!"
After the next couple of "singers", "English" John introduces my number as "an old English folk song". The music cued up, the words came up on the big screen, and about 20 Texans said, "What the fuck is this?"
The Wife said the crowd was stunned, and about halfway through, the guys were laughing and the women were still stunned. Everybody was laughing at the end, and John said he couldn't remember anybody singing "that song" so well. John's a good guy.....
for a Brit. ;^)
The girls sang some Billy Joel songs and "American Pie", we drank, and had a real blowout.
Good times. Goooood times.
Now anyone who knows me is thinking, "He mixed drinks?! That dumbshit!", but oddly enough, next morning I was fine. No horkin', no headache, nothin'. In fact, other than our one friend who abstained, I felt the best out of everybody.
5. While the girls went shopping, I went the Texas Seaport Museum to view the barque Elissa. Absolutely fantastic! I'd never been on a tall ship before, and even though she was moored the whole time I was aboard, it was great just to be there, read her history, feel the motion of her deck, and just imagine what it must of been like to sail her.
I would so love to learn to sail!
Well, that should do it for now.
Oh, I found a couple more odd names people have come up with, but I'll post them later; maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, maybe.....